Marriage Pact: After the Final Rose

MIDDLETOWN, CT – After a long cuffing season, Wesleyan students had been looking forward to an even longer cuffing season. Therefore, students were stifling their boners when the results of the Wesleyan Marriage Pact were released on Valentine’s Day. When we met a Marriage Pact couple on an iced coffee date at Pi, we decided to check in with them as the semester continued.

Erin Wagner ’21 and Thea King ’22 had been living together all year in Westco. Despite their rooms being connected, the two had never actually spoken. King explained that Wagner listened to 100 Gecs, so she “was never really sure of the vibes.” It wasn’t until they matched on Marriage Pact that they decided to actually talk to each other for the first time. After learning that Pi had run out of their favorite milk substitute, Wagner remembered that they had Planet Oat Milk in their shared fridge. Two days later, King moved all her Squishmallows into Wagner’s room. 

Unfortunately, not all students were as lucky as these roommates. A study conducted by Yale Law School states that 86% of Wesleyan Marriage Pact participants never reached out to their one true match. All these participants have also matched on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Grindr, but they are waiting for the ice cubes in their coffee to be in retrograde. 13.5% of participants matched with their friends and reached out to say, “Hey bestie!” The other 0.5% are King and Wagner.