MIDDLETOWN, CT – Deep in the WestCo tunnels this past Tuesday, the Wesleyan Anarchist Club (WesAnarchists for short) came to a momentous decision, electing member Psam Pseudomonas ’21 to the position of club president. Although the group is tight-knit, with invitations only extended after internal consultation, Pseudomonas hopes to widen the role of the group on campus, with events ranging from overtly political to fun-filed on the books for post-COVID-19.
Another anonymous member highlighted the WesAnarchists’ Brick Drive as a key event to get more folks on board. After the club gathers a big enough pile of bricks, they say they will have another exciting event in store.
“We’ve done things like ‘Molotov your own Cocktail’ before and they’ve been a blast! At least until the fire safety team comes barging in,” Pseudomonas noted. Pseudomonas’ term, however, has already come under fire, as Wesleyan students have noted that, unlike multiple mutual aid-based organizations in Middletown, WesAnarchists literally do no significant organizing. Psam did not comment on this particular claim. “As President of WesAnarchists… Wait… Shit, guys!” Psam said, before running back to the group, presumably to notify them that presidents are generally antithetical to anarchism.