MIDDLETOWN, CT – After years of being labeled as the eating area for athletes and frat bros, the loud side of Wesleyan’s Usdan University Center will finally be getting a hibachi table. No longer will patrons of the loud side have to wait in line at Mongolian grill and then trudge all the way back to their tables; now they will be able to get their fried rice from the comfort of their seat.
“Listen I love Mongo as much as the next guy,” said Chuck Logan ‘20, captain of the rowing team. “But being able to get my six egg breakfast sandwich while sitting with my friggin dudes? PLUS an onion volcano? Nothing beats that.”
Sources close to Bon Appetit management have confirmed that the Hibachi Chef will be doing “All the classics,” like the onion volcano, and the shrimp in the pocket toss, and of course, squirting sake into the mouths of eager guests. When asked about this, Logan replied simply “It’s about time we got some long-range sake in Usdan.”